Why don’t you love me? You asked Google – here’s the answer | Daisy Buchanan

Every day millions of internet users ask Google life’s most difficult questions, big and small. Our writers answer some of the commonest queries

Why don’t I love you? Well, I hardly know you! Perhaps this is the problem – I think that many of us, myself included, have a tendency to mistake feeling loved for feeling understood. When we do not feel understood, the sense of loneliness and isolation can be suffocating. That sensation might be what drives us to take our trickiest, tenderest and most human feelings to the internet, in search of a comforting automated answer.

I have been in love with someone who did not love me, and during that miserable era I went online to search for answers to the questions that I was too scared to ask him. Of course, there wasn’t a single response that would have satisfied me, and I was essentially searching for the information that would make me lovable. I wondered whether I could win him over by losing weight, speaking more softly, speaking less often or falling in love with someone else. But you can’t win a person, and if you’re reduced to asking why you are not loved, you’ve already lost the competition.

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Alex Vidal