Should I wait for the father of my unborn child to choose between me and his ex-wife?

He was going through a divorce and we had only been dating for three months when I became pregnant. Ever since he told his estranged wife, he won’t commit

When I met the father of my unborn child, I thought I had found the one. When I fell pregnant after three months of dating, it was a shock, but we were excited. This changed soon after the 12-week scan. He had been married, but was negotiating a divorce, and had to inform his ex-wife of my pregnancy. As he had played down the seriousness of our relationship, this came as a huge shock to her.

I was understanding but, as he withdrew, I began to feel more vulnerable. I hoped that by cooling things between us for a while would give him the head space to come to a decision between his ex-wife and me. Three months on, this hasn’t happened. I still see him regularly (though not romantically) and I know he has had contact with his ex-wife. I have tried to take control, by trying to end contact between us (that isn’t baby-related) and by saying I would be willing to give us another go. Neither course has worked.

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Alex Vidal