Our ‘sexperiment’ and other methods of improving our sex life

After Jancee Dunn and her husband became parents, their sex life was non-existent. Rather than ignore the problem, they decided to do something about it

Like many new parents, my husband, Tom, and I experienced a sexual drought after our baby was born. Sex was the easiest thing in the world to forgo, thanks to stress, near-hallucinatory fatigue and zigzagging hormones, which can wreak havoc for men and women (during the first year of fatherhood, one study found, testosterone levels drop by roughly a third – and never again reach pre-baby levels).

But as the months went by, I began to feel uneasy about our paucity of action. Surveying the advice offered by women’s magazines, however, I found it unrealistic for exhausted new parents, not to mention embarrassing (Cook dinner topless! Give him a sexy striptease!). If I sent Tom a “steamy text”, his most likely reply would be, “Hi, hon, on runway and flight attendant telling me to shut down my phone, talk later.”

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Alex Vidal