My wife’s affair has left me feeling less sexually attracted to her

It was a short and sexless relationship, but since finding out about it I no longer fancy her in the same way

My wife and I are trying to put our life back together after she had a short, albeit thankfully sexless, affair. We are working our way through the issues with a counsellor, but I am struggling with sexual attraction. Until the discovery, I had found my wife more beautiful every day. But I no longer fancy her in the same way. Will this pass?

The discovery of your wife’s other relationship has destroyed not only your positive sense of coupledom with her, but also your somewhat idealised notion of her. The therapeutic work you are doing is essential to coming to terms with this loss, and also to moving forward into a realistic view of who she really is, and understanding your own response.

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Alex Vidal