My husband’s illness has driven me into an affair, but I can’t live like this

He’s been diagnosed with a progressive degenerative illness and has always suffered from depression. I’ve been having an affair to cope with my loneliness, but we have kids and I can’t see a way forward

Six years ago, my husband – who has always suffered from depression and never held a full-time job – was diagnosed with a progressive degenerative illness. He sleeps all day, and drinks. After years working full-time and raising our daughters, I finally succumbed to the loneliness and had an affair. However, after four intense years, my lover’s wife found out and told my husband. Now, though the affair continues, it is plain my lover has no intention of leaving his wife.

If it weren’t for the children (who are 10 and 12), I think my husband would end it. Over the years I have arranged therapists and psychiatrists and physical therapy for him, and he will go a few times, but his heart isn’t in it. He takes antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills, but nothing seems to help.

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Alex Vidal