‘Meeting new women became an addiction’: one woman, 30 dates

After splitting up with her boyfriend at 31 and starting to date women online, would Laura Kaye find love?

C is Spanish. She tells me that life in London is so hard that it is making her into a hard person. She has stopped helping people because they take too much and do not give back. In Spain, it was always easy for her to get girlfriends, but in London she finds all the women to be sad and quemada, burnt. She works as a waitress in a restaurant in Chelsea. One of the waiters, a Polish man, has a problem with her being gay. A few days before I meet C, he came up to her and said there were some friends of hers in the restaurant. C said it was unlikely, because she knew nobody who could afford to eat there. He pointed to a table where two butch women were sitting and then burst out laughing. C wants to be an artist. She shows me a tattoo that she got that day of a flower. Every time she feels sad, she gets a tattoo. One day, she wants her whole body to be covered in them.

I don’t know what I would have done without the internet. I came out when I was 31, after a brief and chaotic relationship with a woman, for whom my feelings ebbed away as dramatically as they had come, leaving me at times wondering whether I had ever had them in the first place.

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Alex Vidal