Marriage isn’t for me – but the fight for an alternative is not a civil rights issue

There are excellent arguments for straight civil partnerships, but the claim that heterosexuals are being treated unfairly is not one I can expend energy on

I’ve been thinking a lot about equality this week (I work at the Guardian: that’s what we do for kicks round here). But before I get into that, I’d like to talk a little bit about marriage. My parents raised me on MGM musicals and fairytales. While my little sister was the classic tomboy who insisted on wearing dungarees and corduroy, I only wore dresses, the more froufrou the better. Photos of us as children look like a literary meet-up between Scout from To Kill A Mockingbird and Barbara Cartland. To this day, I am still a total sap for romantic comedies.

All of which is a long way of saying that I was always a girly girl. But one girlish fantasy that never appealed was the fantasy of a wedding day. I never moonily signed my name with a different surname, and I never looked at wedding dresses – even the most froufrou ones – with anything but a sense of relief that I wasn’t the one who’d have to wear it.

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Alex Vidal