When you are trying online dating, one of the most difficult aspects of it, aside from creating an effective dating profile, is that first online message. When you see a woman that you like on a dating site, the first step is to send her a message. Often, many people don’t know what to write in this message. This leads to many of them writing a generic message out quickly, just for the sake of contacting someone. But, if you want to make your online international dating endeavor a success, then you must create an effective first message for each woman that you are planning to contact.
This Kind of First Online Message Will Be Successful
Don’t be Generic
The main mistake that most men make with their first message is that they make it too generic. They send a generic message like “hey, I saw your profile and I think you are really pretty. Get in touch to chat”. This message provides the woman with no reason to contact you. It sounds like a copy and paste message, which you wrote out in a couple of minutes, and have sent to every other girl on the site whose profile has caught your attention. It doesn’t make her feel special.
Let Her Know you have Read her Profile
As mentioned above, you don’t want to send a woman on an international dating site a generic first message. You want to prove to her that you are really interested in her, and that you aren’t just sending out a generic copy and paste message to every girl on the site that you are interested in. Think about what caught your attention about this particular woman’s profile and then mention it in your message. For example, if she stated that she likes to watch action movies, you could mention that you too like action movies, if you do, and then ask her what her favorite ones are.
Use Proper Spelling and Grammar
Although this may seem obvious, many men still send out messages in text speak, which is littered with spelling and basic grammar errors. Avoid shortening words too much or using text speak, such as “r u ok?” It not only looks sloppy, but it also looks lazy, not to mention it is simply hard to read. Take the time to use full words, and basic grammar, such as commas and periods. It will make you look like a professional, classy guy who has taken the time out of his day to compose a nice, neat message.
Don’t Compliment her Appearance
Many men mistakenly put compliments about a woman’s appearance in their first online dating message. You may think that you are being nice, as everyone likes to be complimented, but this is a sure-fire way to have your message ignored. She will most likely think one of two things.
Firstly, she will think that you send this sort of generic message and compliment to all women on the site, which means you haven’t really read her profile properly. Secondly, she may not like men that she doesn’t know complimenting her on her appearance.
Rather than complimenting her on her appearance, like she has probably heard from many other men on the site, compliment her on something else. For example, if she said in her profile that she enjoys doing a particular hobby, like hiking, you could say “I think it’s great that you enjoy hiking, as I love hiking too”.
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