Alys Fowler: 'There is no such thing as coming out: it's a daily negotiation'

Our gardening columnist was happily married, and finally had a plot to call her own. Then she fell in love

My childhood dream was that I would grow up to be an adventurer. I knew it might be hard, so I practised. I learned to climb rock faces, to abseil into caves, to swim long distances in cold water, to sail small boats. I was a strange child, wandering through fields trailed by my dog, talking to myself, but I was perfectly content.

Eventually, I grew up and got married. I stopped climbing. I still biked, but mostly out of necessity: to get to work across town. I still swam in cold water, but in an urban park.

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Alex Vidal